The vacation we often need is freedom from our own mind

These thoughts used to pop into my head.

As a Fortune 500 communications executive, I took vacations at luxurious, tropical locations to escape from always being on the job, only to find that it provided no refuge from the torment of my always-on mindset.

The problem wasn't my title, scope, remit, headcount, or that my C-level boss + his male peers were my stakeholders. Those were just circumstances.

The source of my suffering in paradise was a self-imposed narrative upon which I'd cautiously crafted my professional identity.

And now, nearly seven years post-corporate career, as a leadership mindset expert with advanced training in high-performance cognition, female development + neuroscience . . .I can report that those same thoughts still pop into my head.

Whenever I intentionally cease working be intentional about rest, as I do 140 days a year, unplugged and off the grid.

If you’re shocked by this revelation please don't miss the most pertinent takeaway:
Changing your circumstances does not in fact change your life.

A blocked calendar, muted notifications, and gorgeous scenery are simply vacation tactics.

Tactics alone don’t guarantee results.

Strategic thinking, that superpower you use at work, is even more critical in life.

WHAT KIND OF WORK IS
VACATION-WORTHY?

• Distinguishing circumstances (neutral facts) from thoughts (your highly biased interpretations of the facts.)

• Questioning your thoughts.

• Regulating your emotions.

• Allocating your energy + mindshare for the experience you want.

• Abandoning old habits.

• Being loyal to yourself.

Truly, inner work is the only work worth doing.
Leading yourself is the job of a lifetime. 

For those of us wired for achievement, our minds warn us that rest is a “danger.”

All of the women leaders I know share my unconscious, inherent bias for action stemming from an over-nurtured belief that our worth is inextricably linked to our work.

We esteem the highly productive version of ourselves and inflict harsh self-criticism when we’re not.

Layer on top of that, cultural mythologies of likability, meritocracy, and presenteeism make women feel as if they have to go above and beyond to approximate a modicum of economic equity and upward career trajectory.

We’ve adopted a litany of disempowered beliefs about what we assume is required of us that's actually exhausting us.

It has nothing to do with what others expect of us + everything to do with the excruciating expectations we set for ourselves.

We can't possibly show up powerfully, and authentically when we're consumed by the busyness of perpetually performing.

We are very secure in our identity as human “doers” and quite uncomfortable as human “beings.”

This is why my rest strategy includes planning for discomfort.